Disney Dicks

Were you a Disney kid? Do you know all the words to every song from The Little Mermaid? Have you had inappropriate dreams about Aladdin? Ever wondered what was under Prince Charming’s breeches?

The ladies at Jezebel, who might have the best jobs ever, have “The Jezebel staff put a lot of thought into this (perhaps too much?) and collectively came up with nudity descriptions of the male characters from Disney’s animated feature films—including dick length, girth, tone, veins, pube sitch, etc.—that we felt reflected their personalities. We then passed those specifications on to Gawker Media staff illustrator Tara Jacoby who turned our visions of Disney dicks into actual erotic portraiture. You’re welcome.”

 

Here’s our faves:

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