6/2/09 Bikini Lounge, Phoenix
Lessons learned this week:
Having a business meeting for your porn magazine at a dive bar is not the best idea. We had barely covered going over this week’s boner jamz when some Dix approached, most likely lured by the genius radiating from our booth. Instantly we began critiquing their pick up lines and suggesting improvements for future unwelcome advances.
Our friend here:
…who said his name was “Scotty Pimpin,” told us the top three pick up lines that usually work for him. We now present you with:
DIX in the city PT 1: Scotty Pimpin’s top 3 pantyliners
1. I don’t use pick up lines.
PoolBoy says: Every dude drops this. You are not clever for trying to get some while saying you’re not actually trying to get some.
2. Whut up! (changed per his request from his original, “What’s up?”)
PoolBoy says: Good move dropping the “s,” now you seem like a really cool gangster.
And finally, after learning that we were starting a dick rag for women…
3. I read that the number one fantasy that women have is rape. I’ll make your fantasy come true.
PoolBoy says: WTF. NEVER USE THIS AS YOUR PICK UP LINE.