Face it

Ever gone through Bust Magazine’s Girl Wide Web links page on their website?

Bust is one of my pop culture bibles. It is seriously one of the coolest magazines ever made and their website is rad and filled with cool shit.  Their Girl Wide Web is a page of user submitted links with a sex section titled Sex-E, and a subsection on Erotica & Porn (I wish these two weren’t lumped together but whatevs). I love trolling through these links.

Yes, there are a lot of bad personal blogs and a shitload of weird/shitty/hot/good/awful erotic fiction sites, but you also come across some gems. Like this one I found today titled Artistic Nude Male Photography which links to a url called www.primeviews.com.

The user submitted link description reads:
Amateur site featuring a collection of black and white self portrait nude photos. The site is aimed at a female audience and shows the nude male form in an erotic but tasteful and artistic manner.

Hey ladies.
Are you wet yet?

You know by the following bombs i just dropped on you that this site is going to be hilarious:

1. the title of the listing is Artistic Nude Male Photography

2. the url name sounds like a Miami real estate company (only a dude would register a domain name called primeviews.com. I wonder how many retired couples looking to buy a condo accidentally go to his site on a daily basis)

3.the use of the following words in the link description: nude, male, form, erotic, but tasteful, artistic

Ok let’s break to have you check out the photos on primeviews.com. Come back after your mind is blown.

Back? Ok, so wft? Dude can’t show his face?!?! Apparently he just wants us to look at his rock hard body, limp dick and a baseball cap. Thanks for getting me all worked up (primeviews.com!) only to show me soggy dick.

He writes on the site:

I appreciate that many of you looking at this would never contemplate doing something similar, but It feels very natural for me to do it and I don’t feel any embarrassment whatsoever.

Unfortunately, hiding my face is something I hate having to do. It has a real detrimental effect on the feel of the photos, but I can’t see any way round it. The fact of the matter is that nudity, whether tasteful, artistic or otherwise is not yet generally accepted. I have a normal day job, being recognised for posting nude photos on the internet would be damaging to my career. It’s a real pity, but I hope you can appreciate the situation and respect my need to remain anonymous

What is he, a Mormon lawyer from Canada or something?  Do you think most men would find it erotic to stare at some faceless body?  The face is the money shot. It sells the body! Time for you to update your shame my naked friend.

Don’t start off by saying nudity is beautiful and you’re not ashamed but then don’t show you face. That men can’t grow some balls and then pose naked with them on the internet is a sad, sad sign. Women do it all the time! Let’s see some face with that cock and then we can talk.

I’m not saying that nudity should always be linked to sexuality and titilation because that would be stupid (and is done way too much in our culture as it is). But he submitted it to the Erotica & Porn section!

And on his survey page (that’s right, faceless photos and a survey = fuck time) there are a bunch of compliments on his site from the many visitors that have taken his survey. Which leads me to believe he’s taken the survey over 78 times.

I think Bust should have a links section titled IT’S AMAZING THAT THESE SITES EXIST.

Anyways I joined his free membership club. I’ll let you know if he shows any face.

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