On a recent poolgirl outing we came across this swarthy gentleman:

Naturally we asked him to drop his panties and let us snap some hot dick pics. He agreed and suggested we all head to an after party where he’d let us discreetly photograph him. We followed him to the after party (which was lame btw) only to have him dodge the photo session by repeatedly trying to feel up Lady of Leisure on the couch:

Let’s be honest, who doesn’t like a little game of Grabby McGrab Hands now and again?

But dude wouldn’t give up the dick! And to add insult to injury, his gross friend, this dude:

called us “bitches” and then couldn’t hang when we tried an have a semi-intelligent conversation about re-appropriating language (we even used small words).

And finally, nothing ends a night of failure better than some old fashioned girl hate. One of Sir Boob-A-Lot’s female friends called us “floozies” when her boobs went unmolested.

Though we never got to see the dude’s dick, we can always behold his swarthy face

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