I’ve had jobs before where, when there’s downtime, the lowly staff entertains themselves by watching music videos on YouTube, planning and detonating corn bombs (only fellow detasselers should understand that), or what have you (I once carved the JFK assassination into a pumpkin for a Halloween contest at work, just saying). Wanna know what bookish types do when it’s slow at bookish jobs? Try looking through the hilarious lists on GoodReads (it’s like Facebook for book nerds). Compiled by pool girl Laura, who loves to quote Spring Breakdown to me all the live long day, below are some of the best GoodReads user-created book lists.
First we have “Hottest Guy on a Cover.” That one is pretty obvious. Most of the books look like romance novels and, surprisingly, there are lots of books about the Beatles. What I don’t get about this list though, is why you can’t see almost all of these hot cover dudes’ faces. I suppose these could also be contenders for “Dude, Where’s My Forehead?“
Next we have lists made by horny women. There’s “Characters You Most Want to Sleep With,” which obviously has Twilight’s Edward Cullen in the top spot. Now, I’d bang R-Patz every which way, but the character Edward Cullen? I’m outing myself as a nerd here just by admitting I’ve read the atrocious Twilight series, but really Goodreads ladies? You’d like to bang a dead dude who is 100 years older than you, has killed people and probably wants to kill you, is rock hard like a statue (and not just downstairs!), and is given to stalkerish behavior like watching girls sleep, telling them who they can and cannot hang out with, and verbally belittling their intelligence and decision making skills as well as being prone to bouts of uncontrollable rage? Nice pick. Unfortunately, most of the “horney lady” lists are about paranormal romance (see JR Ward and Charlaine Harris) or teen romance (see Shiver). What are red blooded, adult, intelligent, independent women reading? My guess is they’re not on Goodreads because they’re too busy reading the PoolBoy blog!
Finally, we have an assortment of lists about gay male characters. There are a ton of these. From “Best Gay Furry Lovers” and “Worst Gay Book Covers” to “Best Gay Cinderfellas,” Goodreads is innundated with lists about gay men. Where are all the lists about books full of straight male characters? There are some (yes but they’re all about Edward Cullen!) but nothing like the number of lists about hot gay characters. Just like in the search for porn for women, straight ladies always seem to get the shaft (haha!).
There are some lists to make your downtime at work fly by. Check them out and get reading!