The Australian R-Patz

UM OMG Australia. Why you have to be so cool? You have your own sport called FOOTIE that makes absolutely no sense but the players have to dress like this:

clitical sass and I were just watching some Footie on the ol’ boob-tube for some unknown reason (we were stoned) and we got totally sucked into it.  The Collingwood Magpies v. the Melbourne Demons.

Honestly though, it was because of the hot athletes because we really dont know how this  game is played.   Really. The refs are hilarious, player number#32, Travis Cloak, on Collingwood cannot stop grabbing his balls and the person operating the camera in that game loves all the ball action going on because Cloak was on screen for like 60% of game. All balls.

The scores can be super high (70 to 23?), there is constant play with little downtime (ahem American football), and they can push each other around and fight! Yay!  Plus all the athletes are tall and built.

Here are our highlights from the game:

Liam Jurrah

From what we could gather, he is like amazeballs at footieAmazeballs indeed.



Stefan Martin

The Australian R-Patz!!! So hot. and quite a good player from what we could tell.  But would you ever date a guy named Stefan outside of France?

only if he made this face while fucking me



Sharrod Wellingham

Again with the names! I would just call him Sharry or Hot Rod Wellinghammer in bed.



Jack Watts

Super hot + super tall gives clitical sass a super boner.



And we’ll leave you with these parting photos of the magically hot game of Footie:


God Bless Australia

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