Using Math To Measure That Dick

“Don’t you hate having to choose potential mates based on their looks and/or personality, not the size of their dick?” asks Margaret Hartmann on Jezebel. Amen, lady. Luckily, the Koreans were determined to find a way to determine peen size by using math. Asians, srsly.

The study involved 144 men who were in the hospital for surgery unrelated to penis size.”‘One member of the team carefully measured the lengths of the index and ring fingers on the subject’s right hand before surgery — left hands are thought to be more variable. A second team member then measured penis length immediately after the subject had been anesthetized. The length was measured both when the penis was flaccid and when it had been stretched as much as possible. Stretched length is thought to correlate to erect length, the team wrote. The team found that, in general, the lower the ratio of the lengths of the two fingers, the longer the stretched length of the penis.’”

Umm. Ok. I echo Hartmann’s concern that, “hopefully these guys were informed beforehand that they’d be subjected to a hearty penis stretching once they were knocked out.”

My dad always used to tell me that Math = Power. Now I can see that he was right. Soon I can stop wasting my time courting cute, interesting dude’s only to be disappointed by their little wangs when I finally get those pants off. And watch out lads with low ratios of the lengths of the index and ring fingers on the right hand! Hold on, let me just get my tape measure…

I love Jezebel. What a great ending to this article:

“Soon you should be able to perform a full medical analysis just by creepily staring at a dude’s hand.”

I’ve often dreampt of that day.

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